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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Rush Limbaugh Tucks Shirt Back In Following Animated Flat Tax Rant

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—While ferociously laying into what he calls the "liberal jihad against the flat tax," conservative pundit and talk radio host Rush Limbaugh dislodged his shirt from the waistband of his pants Tuesday, leaving it to flap wildly about his midsection for the rest of his impassioned four-minute tirade. "Hrrp—hrrp," a panting Limbaugh said before sitting back down, wiping off the microphone, and taking a moment to swallow the thick, viscous phlegm he had inadvertently dislodged during the heated monologue. "It just defies all logic how—hhugh.... Is that blood?" On the advice of his producer, Limbaugh quickly drank a glass of water and ate a banana before addressing Obama's failed commerce secretary appointees.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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