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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Rwandan Refugees Angered Over Lack Of AOL Access

BRAZZAVILLE, CONGO—A group of more than 100,000 Rwandan refugees, forced from their homes by war and ravaged by starvation, are now facing a new problem: the difficulty or outright inability to connect to America Online. "Last night I spent almost an hour trying to connect," Ndeti Mwana, 31, said, "and still I could not. I have not played NTN trivia in over a week." Countless other refugees are praying that they have not missed any important e-mail. AOL officials are working around the clock with the U.N.'s High Commission For Refugees to set up makeshift emergency e-mail stations along the Rwanda-Congo border. "I fear the gods have forsaken us," refugee Malanda Lumbushi said. "Will I ever chat with my e-pal, Vader1138, again?"

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