adBlockCheck

Ryan Begins Attacking Romney's Record As Massachusetts Governor

Top Headlines

Politics

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.

FBI Convinces George Clooney To Wear Wire During Clinton Fundraising Dinner

SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to gather evidence in their investigation of the presidential candidate’s alleged misuse of her private email server when she served as secretary of state, members of the FBI reportedly convinced actor George Clooney to wear a hidden listening device Friday night while attending a campaign fundraising dinner with Hillary Clinton.

The Pros And Cons Of Voter ID Laws

Many states are pushing for stricter voter identification policies at the polls, while critics argue such requirements are unconstitutional and used as a means of voter suppression. Here are some pros and cons of voter ID laws.

Shimmering Immaculate Republican Candidate Appears Before GOP Officials

‘It’s Him,’ Stunned Conservative Leaders Mutter

WASHINGTON—Explaining how they froze in place and stared up at the miraculous vision in rapt wonder, members of the Republican Party leadership reported that the shimmering image of an immaculate, ideal GOP presidential candidate appeared before them for a brief moment Friday and hovered in front of the party’s headquarters in Washington.

Trump Catches Self Briefly Believing Own Campaign Rhetoric

‘Whoa, That Was Scary For A Second There,’ Says Candidate

BETHPAGE, NY—Admitting that he was overcome with terror after realizing what he had done, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump told reporters he caught himself briefly believing his own campaign rhetoric during a rally Wednesday night.

Cow Ted Cruz Milking In Wisconsin Photo Op Only Giving Curdled, Foul Liquid

ALMA, WI—Saying the putrid stench of rancid dairy had caused numerous onlookers to gag and rush out of the barn, sources at Noll’s Family Farm confirmed Monday that only a thin stream of curdled, spoiled liquid was emerging from the cow that Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz was attempting to milk during a campaign photo op.

How A Contested Convention Would Work

With the Republican Party potentially headed to its convention without a clear-cut presidential nominee, The Onion answers common questions about how a contested convention would work.

Advisors Tell Trump, Cruz To Stick To Just Attacking All Women In General

JANESVILLE, WI—Attempting to reduce the negative publicity generated by their candidates’ recent attacks on each other’s wives, top campaign advisors reportedly instructed Republican presidential hopefuls Donald Trump and Ted Cruz in private meetings Monday to stick to just attacking all women in general, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Holidays

Ryan Begins Attacking Romney's Record As Massachusetts Governor

DENVER—Displaying the tough no-nonsense talk and firm commitment to conservative principles that led to his selection as the Republican vice presidential candidate, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) has taken to the campaign trail and begun viciously attacking the record of running mate and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.

Within hours of joining the GOP ticket Saturday, Ryan went on the offensive against the GOP candidate, and he has continued to cast him as a “pro-abortion crusader” and “shameless political chameleon” in stump speeches throughout Wisconsin, Iowa, and Colorado. At town hall meetings and fundraising events, Ryan has repeatedly referred to Romney’s governorship as “disastrous,” even going so far as to warn voters that the Republican candidate was an unreliable and dangerous choice for president.

“Mitt Romney doesn’t want you to know the disturbing truth about his record as governor,” Ryan said at the Iowa State Fair yesterday, immediately displaying the sort of passionate conservatism that led to his selection by the Romney campaign. "But the facts are clear. Gov. Romney embraced the legalization of same-sex marriage, he imposed anti-business carbon-emission limits, and he championed efforts to limit Second Amendment rights. This isn’t the record of strong family values and small government ideals that our country needs to get back on the road to prosperity—this is a record of ruin.”

Ryan also carried out his hard-hitting assault on the presumptive GOP nominee on numerous Sunday morning talk shows, leveling sharply worded broadsides against the individual health insurance mandate included in the governor’s so-called Romneycare plan, which he blasted as “un-American” and claimed was “indisputably” the blueprint for Obamacare.

Romney campaign staffers have expressed strong praise for Ryan’s bold, direct rhetoric, noting that the Wisconsin congressman’s determination and willingness to assail left-leaning policies head-on was precisely the reason they tapped him for the VP spot.

“Paul is tenacious about the issues, and so far, true to form, he has gone after Romney like a bulldog,” said Romney deputy campaign manager Katie Packer Gage, describing how Ryan immediately begins tearing into Romney’s record as soon as he steps off the Romney campaign bus. “This is exactly what we brought him on to do: give a blunt, hard-nosed assessment of the facts and, if he sees hypocrisy or liberal waste, immediately shoot it down. He doesn’t let anyone off the hook.”

She added, “We’re just glad he’s in our corner.”

According to pundits, crowds at campaign events have so far been very responsive to Ryan’s message, and voters appear drawn to the Wisconsin representative’s tough language and sharp challenges to Romney to “stand up and prove his conservative principles once and for all.”

Early polls indicate Ryan’s strong language and vocal stance against Romney may already be winning over swing voters.

“I really like what I’m hearing out of Congressman Ryan,” said undecided voter Peter Garland of High Point, NC, adding that the vice presidential candidate’s impassioned attack on Romney’s previous policy positions would “definitely” help him make up his mind. “He really opened up my eyes about how Romney refused to sign an anti-tax pledge in 2002 and how the average tax burden actually increased in Massachusetts during his tenure. I have to say, I appreciate how Ryan calls it as he sees it, and that will certainly play a big role in my decision come November.”

By Tuesday, Ryan had broadened his attacks to Romney’s character, noting that the former governor had thousands of documents from his tenure destroyed upon leaving office in 2007. According to a stone-faced Ryan, such “secretive, deceitful tactics” should leave voters with serious questions about Romney’s fitness to lead the nation.

“The bottom line is that there remain considerable doubts, not only about Gov. Romney’s disturbingly liberal past, but also about his character and commitment to open, honest government,” Ryan said of the man whose name flanks his own on countless lawn placards and bumper stickers. “My question to you is this: What is Mitt Romney hiding?”

“Can we even trust this man?” the congressman added. “If you’re a conservative values voter like me, then I’d have serious doubts.”

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close