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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Ryan Braun: 'Never Believe Any Of Us'

MILWAUKEE—In his first statement after receiving a 65-game suspension from baseball, Brewers slugger Ryan Braun called on fans Tuesday to remember that every single word that he or any other baseball player accused of using steroids has ever said publicly is a lie. “Please be aware that nothing we ever say is true, and when I said that I would ‘bet my life’ I didn’t take steroids, you should have stopped right there and assumed that I took them,” said the former NL MVP, who went on to ask fans whether they really believed that someone who narrowly avoided a 50-game ban for elevated testosterone levels on a technicality could be wrongfully incriminated a second time in two years. “If faced with either telling the truth and losing millions of dollars or lying and keeping our millions of dollars, we’re going to choose to betray the confidence and trust of everyone around us. Even when we make a confession, the truth is that we did so in a strategic attempt to prevent you from digging any deeper and discovering the really despicable stuff we did.” Braun concluded his remarks by asking why reporters bothered to write down a single word from his speech since the entire thing was, in all likelihood, also one giant lie.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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