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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Ryan Howard Asks Teammates If They Ever Noticed How Realistic Crowd Looks

PHILADELPHIA—As 40,000 fans filed into Citizen's Bank Park Monday night, Phillies first basemen Ryan Howard took a moment from warmups to ask teammates if they had ever observed the lifelike three-dimensional shapes, high resolution, and realistic sound of the stadium's crowd. "If you look close enough, you can actually see individual people out there," Howard said, adding that when he first started playing baseball, crowds were just a mishmash of blurry colors and the cheering sounded like static from an old TV. "Do you ever hear how the crowd gets loud after a big play and quiet when the game's boring, just like an actual crowd would? In some ballparks, I almost feel like I could reach out and touch them, they look so real." Howard claims to have read that someday soon, announcers will also sound more realistic rather than just repeating prerecorded sentence fragments that are pieced together for specific games.

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