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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Ryan Lochte

Swimming — Daytona Beach, Florida

Strengths: Thanks to obscure loophole, is allowed to use a canoe; powerful bubble-blower

Flaws: Crippled by constant fear of being sucked into pool’s filter

Preferred Places To Finish Behind Michael Phelps: Third, fourth, second

Better known as: Not Michael Phelps, The New Michael Phelps, That Different Swimming Guy

Favorite stroke: Refused to answer out of respect for all strokes

NEXT: Holley Mangold

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