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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Saints Completely Satisfied With 8-0 Start

NEW ORLEANS—Sources within the Saints organization confirmed Wednesday that players, coaches, and executives alike are all "perfectly satisfied" and "completely okay" with the team's eight-win, no-loss performance thus far in the 2009 NFL season. "The Saints feel that Drew Brees' 106.1 quarterback rating, Reggie Bush's flashes of athletic brilliance, and Darren Sharper's seven interceptions are particularly satisfactory," team sources said. "Moreover, we are reasonably pleased with the prospect of facing the Rams and Buccaneers, both one-win teams, over the next couple weeks. It's nice." A spokesman for the Indianapolis Colts, the NFL's other undefeated team, said that quarterback Peyton Manning has been disappointed and discouraged by his team's perfect performance and was undergoing treatment for depression.

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