adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
End Of Section
  • More News

Salad Rendered Unhealthy In Three Steps

PINE BLUFF, AR—A nutritious meal was rendered unhealthy in three easy steps Monday, when area resident Kimberly Lowen, 24, added ranch dressing, grated cheese, and four crumbled strips of bacon to a bowl of romaine lettuce and tomatoes. "Who says not eating right has to take a lot of time?" Lowen said. "It only took minutes to prepare a salad that will provide me with my daily recommended intake of fat and sodium." Lowen has previously rendered a glass of skim milk unhealthy, simply by adding ice cubes and chocolate syrup and mixing it in a blender on low.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close