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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Salad Rendered Unhealthy In Three Steps

PINE BLUFF, AR—A nutritious meal was rendered unhealthy in three easy steps Monday, when area resident Kimberly Lowen, 24, added ranch dressing, grated cheese, and four crumbled strips of bacon to a bowl of romaine lettuce and tomatoes. "Who says not eating right has to take a lot of time?" Lowen said. "It only took minutes to prepare a salad that will provide me with my daily recommended intake of fat and sodium." Lowen has previously rendered a glass of skim milk unhealthy, simply by adding ice cubes and chocolate syrup and mixing it in a blender on low.

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