Sandwich From Television Commercial Spotted At Local Restaurant

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Vol 47 Issue 29

Nation's School Systems Held Back A Year

WASHINGTON—Having continued to display learning deficits and a failure to reach basic educational milestones, the nation's school systems will be asked to repeat the academic year, sources confirmed Friday.

News Corp. Under Fire For Cell Phone Hacks

Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, the parent company of Fox News, is under scrutiny following reports that its paper The News Of The World hired people to hack into the phones of politicians, murder victims, and relatives of soldi...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Sandwich From Television Commercial Spotted At Local Restaurant

HALFMOON, NY—Local lunch patrons were stunned Tuesday when they spotted the sandwich from a recent 30-second television commercial occupying the window booth at a nearby Arby's franchise. "I think that's the one from TV," said Denise Hudson, 37, adding that the chicken sandwich looked "way more crispy in person." "I didn't recognize it right away, but I did a double take as soon I saw that grilled kaiser roll with the provolone that's melted right onto the bacon." At press time, Hudson couldn't place the man sitting with the sandwich, but assumed he must be someone important.

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