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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Savion Glover Taps His Way Out Of Another Speeding Ticket

WEEHAWKEN, NJ—Tony-Award-winning tap dancer Savion Glover was let off with his ninth warning in nine traffic stops after his "amazing flashing feet and sinuous steel-shoe syncopation" duly impressed the New Jersey state-trooper who pulled him over Sunday. "When I asked Mr. Glover for identification, he really showed me who he was—with tap!" said Officer Mark Galanas, who alleged that Glover was not impaired when he drove his BMW at 93 miles per hour in a posted 65 zone. "He promised to step lightly on the gas from now on, so I tore up his ticket. I can't write up a pure entertainer who can hoof it like that." Glover will, however, be charged for damage to state property, incurred when he tap-danced across the hood, roof, light-bar, and trunk of Galanas' police cruiser.
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