ARIES: Your health continues to decline as your skin becomes too sensitive to endure sunlight and your soul remains too sensitive to endure dark, smoky bars.
WEEHAWKEN, NJ—Tony-Award-winning tap dancer Savion Glover was let off with his ninth warning in nine traffic stops after his "amazing flashing feet and sinuous steel-shoe syncopation" duly impressed the New Jersey state-trooper who pulled him over Sunday. "When I asked Mr. Glover for identification, he really showed me who he was—with tap!" said Officer Mark Galanas, who alleged that Glover was not impaired when he drove his BMW at 93 miles per hour in a posted 65 zone. "He promised to step lightly on the gas from now on, so I tore up his ticket. I can't write up a pure entertainer who can hoof it like that." Glover will, however, be charged for damage to state property, incurred when he tap-danced across the hood, roof, light-bar, and trunk of Galanas' police cruiser.