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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Scarlett Johansson Immediately Rejects Heartwarming Prom Invite From High School Student

LOS ANGELES—Shortly after local high school senior Jeremy Feldman’s YouTube video asking actress Scarlett Johansson to his prom went viral Tuesday, the Lost in Translation star declined the student’s invitation in no uncertain terms, sources confirmed. “The answer is no,” said Johansson, who went on to cite a litany of reasons for refusing the invitation that included scheduling conflicts, the fact that the evening would be uncomfortable for her on many levels, and a mounting distaste for the student’s willingness to create an Internet spectacle that would only pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to do. “You’re a real piece of work, Jeremy. Because if I ignore the invitation I come off as cold. If I say yes, I’m clearly only doing it to enhance my own image, which is completely disingenuous. What you’re doing essentially amounts to emotional blackmail.” Johansson then blasted Feldman for creating such a PR headache, told reporters that it’s actually bizarre and sort of sick that he needs to ask a celebrity to his prom in order to build up his own self-image, and then—after muttering “dammit” under her breath—said, “Fine, Jeremy, whatever. I’ll go to your stupid fucking prom.”

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