adBlockCheck

Local

Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Scavenger-Hunt Party 'Not Leaving Without Twine'

PORTAGE, MI—A scavenger-hunt team dispatched to the Moorsbridge neighborhood continues to occupy the Dean and Nicole Mullikan residence, and has announced plans to remain until the couple releases a length of twine needed to complete the list given out at Taylor Keim's birthday party. "We've gotten this far, and we're not leaving without the twine," said Joshua Hebert, 11, the leader of a trio of fifth graders who have been engaged in the diligent search since late Monday afternoon. "These people live in a town that recycles. What do they use to bundle their newspapers and cardboard? They need to look harder." Hebert and his partners said they remain confident that the homeowners will soon "come to their senses," like the older lady at 236 Wilton Terrace who finally turned up three red buttons after a two-hour standoff.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close