School Board Acts To Remove Emotionally Disturbed Students

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Vol 47 Issue 06

FactZone's Five Most Popular Stories

On this, the week of FactZone's fifth birthday, we look back on some of our most popular stories to date: 5. Baby Goat Befriends Roomba: This cute story from 2007 about an Iowa family's pet goat who took to following around a Roomba robotic vacuum...

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Portrait Of A Hero

Yesterday America was introduced to Trevor Wilson, the brave young man from Granton, Kansas who heroically gunned down a potential school shooter before the shooter could even obtain a gun.

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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School Board Acts To Remove Emotionally Disturbed Students

After a shooting at their high school, a school board in Granton, KS has enacted a new proactive plan for removing emotionally disturbed students from the school before tragedy can strike. The board has defined an emotionally disturbed student as one who:

  • Displays anti-social behavior, such as not playing sports or not clapping along with the cheerleaders during pep rallies
  • Listens to music other than Top 40, whether it be heavy metal, rap, techno, country, or classical
  • Wears clothing that is black or contains strange and disturbing non-Hollister imagery
  • Draws or writes poetry
  • Expresses a megalomaniacal belief that he or she is “smarter” than his classmates

Displaying at least two of the five defined characteristics will result in immediate expulsion.

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