School Of The Arts Aims To Transform Boys And Girls Into Insufferable Young Men And Women

Top Headlines

Recent News

Strongside/Weakside: Jurgen Klinsmann

Despite leading the U.S. men’s national team through the so-called “Group of Death” in the 2014 World Cup, Jurgen Klinsmann has come under heavy criticism this week after his side finished fourth in the 2015 Gold Cup. Is he any good?

How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

School Of The Arts Aims To Transform Boys And Girls Into Insufferable Young Men And Women

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting that its incoming class of high school freshmen is their most coddled to date, instructors at Chestnut Ridge Academy for the Arts told an education conference this week that its mission is to take bright, precocious boys and girls and transform them into insufferable young adults. “Here at Chestnut Ridge, we are dedicated to providing artistically gifted young people with the resources they need to blossom into entitled, condescending men and women with an inflated sense of self-importance and accomplishment,” Principal Madeleine Healey told conference attendees, noting that the school has already graduated thousands of budding young narcissists with zero sense of shame or perspective. “Of course, many of our students are already immensely smug and self-satisfied when they arrive. But after years of only talking about themselves and receiving undeserved praise from everyone around them, they’ll leave our doors more pompous and unbearable than we ever thought possible.” Healey added that anyone skeptical about the merits of an arts education should examine the school’s track record, as their alumni have gone on to have completely bullshit careers in the arts all over the world.