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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
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Scientists Probably Discover A New Species Of Frog

They’re Always Doing That Kind Of Shit

WASHINGTON—In what is probably being hailed as some sort of groundbreaking discovery, sources confirmed Friday that scientists have most likely identified a new species of frog recently because that’s the type of shit they do all the time. “They’re always announcing some fucking shit about a new lizard or toad or something, so I bet they just came across a previously unknown breed of frog in some rainforest in Brazil or wherever,” said 29-year-old Pittsburgh resident Jake Morrell, adding that the newfound amphibian is “probably some weird color or has ultra-rare markings on it and blah, blah, blah.” “I bet the frog could contain the cure for a disease, too. Scientists always say stuff like that that when they announce these things.” At press time, a majority of Americans reportedly speculated that the frog is highly endangered, because isn’t that how this shit always goes?

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