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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Scientists Warn Ionosphere One Top-40 Hit Away From Exploding

LOS ALAMOS, NM—Astrophysicists at the Los Alamos National Laboratory issued a nationwide alert Tuesday, warning that exposing the ionosphere to even one additional chart-topping pop, rock, or dance radio wave could cause the electrically conductive layer of atmosphere to violently burst. "We've recklessly bombarded the ionosphere with contemporary favorites all throughout the '80s, '90s, and today," said Dale Harrigan, a member of the lab's Space and Atmospheric Sciences Group. "The high altitude discharge caused by a growing concentration of Mariah Carey megahits and ionized platinum singles is, in itself, enough to cause the entire region to ignite. God forbid someone remixes Rihanna's hot new track, 'Umbrella.'" According to the scientists' assessment, even the smallest rupture in the ionosphere would cause radio waves to bounce back to the surface of the Earth, slowly melting the entire planet's population from the inside.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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