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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Scrappy Underdog Yankees Refusing To Go Away

NEW YORK—Though they were written off at the beginning of the season, the underdog New York Yankees refuse to succumb to their obvious lack of money and talent and have managed to put together a six-game winning streak to remain in contention with the far superior Boston Red Sox. "What you are seeing right now from the Yankees is pure heart, because honestly, that's all this team's really got," said ESPN columnist Buster Olney, adding that the team's unwillingness to quit a battle that is basically unwinnable should serve as an inspiration. "They have a shortstop who can barely field a ground ball, a pitcher who is close to 50, and catcher who has never really been that good at baseball. If they keep this up, we could be witnessing the makings of a modern-day miracle." According to Olney, although the Yankees' recent success is a welcome change, their struggles should be an sign to Commissioner Bud Selig that revenue sharing in the major leagues is not working.

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