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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Screwball Jim Nabors Goofs Up Again By Marrying Man

SEATTLE—In just the latest of his bumbling misadventures, dimwitted Andy Griffith Show actor Jim Nabors, 82, reportedly found out today that he goofed up again after inadvertently marrying another man in a Seattle ceremony. “Aw, now, I didn’t mean to go and get myself hitched to a fella!” said the lovable but slow-witted Nabors, who in a series of humorous blunders managed to get mixed up in a legal gay marriage ceremony with local man Stan Cadwallader before a Washington state judge. “Heck, I mean, a fella and another fella? I don’t figure that much because, see, if he’s a man, and I’m a man...then...then....well, golly, I can’t make heads nor tails of this mess!” At press time, a red-faced Nabors reported being even more confused after being kissed by Cadwallader.

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