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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck Returns From Injury For Some Reason

SEATTLE—After missing five games with a bulging disc in his back, Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck returned to his 2-8 last-place team Sunday for reasons that are unknown at this time. "Well, that was pointless," a visibly exhausted Hasselbeck said after throwing for 170 yards and three interceptions in the Seahawks' 26-20 home loss. "I guess I thought I owed it to my teammates to go through that with them, but looking back on it, no one would wish that on another person. I mean, that game was quite possibly more painful than the extensive nerve damage in my back that kept me out. I can't remember why I decided to suit up for this one." When asked if he intended to play this Sunday against the Redskins, Hasselbeck responded by asking why, in God's name, he would do that.

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