Sears Gold Card Holder Pushing Weight Around Area Sears

In This Section

Vol 43 Issue 42

Oct. 19, 1931

Recently Opened Empire State Building 'Giant-Ape Proof,' Say Architects
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Internet

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Sears Gold Card Holder Pushing Weight Around Area Sears

MCKEESPORT, PA—Auspiciously attired in khaki Dockers and a Structure-brand blazer, longtime Sears Gold MasterCard holder Larry Halfhill, 52, used his elite status to order around employees and cut in front of non-gold-card-carrying customers at the retail chain, sources at West Hills Shopping Center reported.

"He insisted that he be taken to the back and shown the 'good Kenmores,'" said an unnamed juniors department employee who additionally alleged that Halfhill was "very difficult" while posing for his picture in the Sears Portrait Studio. "We would have asked him to leave, but, well, what could we do? He had a Sears Gold Card."

Before leaving, Halfhill announced that the next time he returns to the store, the attendant at the auto center had "better class himself up a bit" or Halfhill would personally write a letter to Mr. Sears himself.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More