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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Secret Service Agent Learning A Lot From Malia’s ‘18th Century European History’ Seminar

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Admitting that he thought it was going to be really boring at first, Secret Service agent Steven Rossi reported Wednesday that he was actually learning a lot from Malia Obama’s 18th century European history class. “I wasn’t looking forward to this, but the professor has been really great at explaining how the concept of modern nation-states developed during this time,” said Rossi, who praised the way the Harvard course wove together political, cultural, and economic events to create a comprehensive and engaging narrative for the period. “It was great how he provided the context to connect the French Revolution with the Seven Years War and the collapse of Spain as a global power, and then explained how all that stuff from the 1700s shaped the Europe of today. This is way better than Malia’s intro to sociology class. God, I hope she doesn’t major in that.” Rossi went on to say he was hoping Malia would have to go to office hours soon because he had a bunch of questions for the professor.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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