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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Secretary Of Education Under Investigation For Falsifying Hall Passes

WASHINGTON, DC—On Monday, U.S. Sen. Alfonse D'Amato (R-NY) called for a special investigative panel to look into allegations that U.S. Secretary of Education Richard Riley forged hall passes for personal use. "Riley occupies the most powerful position in American education and has almost unlimited access to the nation's book of passes," D'Amato said. "We are determined to find out whether he has been faking signatures on hall passes to go to the bathroom and use the snack machines whenever he wants, maintaining the illusion of permission." If found guilty, Riley could face suspension and be called in, along with his parents, for a meeting with President Clinton.

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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