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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Secretary Of Transportation Spends 3 Hours Cleaning Up Wikipedia Page On Roundabouts

WASHINGTON—Grumbling that “it doesn’t take any longer to get this stuff right than it does to get it wrong,” Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reportedly spent three hours this weekend proofreading, correcting, and in some cases rewriting Wikipedia’s error-riddled roundabout entry. “Oh, come on, who edits this stuff?” said LaHood, shaking his head while deleting a “completely erroneous” paragraph from the section on marked-perimeter cycle lanes. “Someone who didn’t know any better could read this and come away thinking a roundabout is no different than a dumbbell interchange. If you’re going to write about this stuff, you owe it to the public to get it right. I’m afraid to even click on the cloverleaf page.” Sources confirmed that after adding an entirely new paragraph on recommended signaling etiquette, LaHood updated the secretary of transportation entry to note in its first sentence that holders of the office are 14th in the line of presidential succession.

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