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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Seemingly Shy Woman Really Just Stuck-Up, Friends Say

WESTWOOD, CA–Mandy King, whose quiet, distant manner has led many people to believe she is shy, is actually just an aloof, stuck-up bitch, friends of the 22-year-old reported Monday. "When you meet Mandy, your first impression is that she's a private person who's only at ease with people once she gets to know them," friend and roommate Alison Henke said. "That's not it at all: She'll only deign to talk to a select group of people who are worth her precious time and attention."

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