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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Self-Defense Instructor Keeps A Couple Of Secrets To Himself

OAKLAND, CA— Tae kwon do instructor Darryl Connally, 42, said Monday that he never teaches his students everything he knows about self-defense. "I give them enough to get by in most street-level confrontations," said the author of The Nearly Complete Guide To Urban Security. "But you never give a potential opponent an edge." Connally added that "a true master must always be on his guard, lest one of his Basic Women's Self-Defense Seminar pupils rises against him."

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