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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Self-Deprecating WNBA Commercial Backfires

NEW YORK—The WNBA's recent "Expect Great" series of promotional spots, which feature players including Candace Parker and Tamika Catchings uttering phrases such as "Women's basketball is a joke" and "I'm sorry, but you couldn't pay me to watch the WNBA" produced the exact opposite of their intended effect, millions of TV viewers reported Monday. "I was wondering if I hadn't been too hard on the WNBA, but then this ad accurately and concisely confirmed all of my misgivings with the league—they had the players themselves say stuff like, 'Nothing exciting ever happens,' and, 'If you want to see real basketball, don't watch me,'" said sports fan Dave Tedrick. "I guess I was right all along." Later that night, an emotionally charged, highly persuasive ad featuring LPGA star Lorena Ochoa proclaiming the excitement of women's golf convinced Tedrick to watch the entirety of next weekend's McDonald's LPGA Championship.

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