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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

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The iPhone Turns 10

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Selling Equals Winning, Ex-Athlete Tells Direct-Mail Merchandisers

HARRISBURG, PA–Selling equals winning, former Los Angeles Rams fullback Ron Pitts told direct-mail merchandisers Tuesday during a sales seminar at the Harrisburg Marriott.

Former Los Angeles Rams fullback Ron Pitts gives seminar attendees advice on how to "score a touchdown in the game of direct-mail merchandising."

"To reach the end zone in the game of direct-mail marketing, you need a winning game plan," Pitts told the crowd of 250 direct-mail merchandisers, each of whom paid $310 to attend the two-day seminar. "And that means having all the parts of your team working together. After all, if your mailing list isn't doing its job opening holes for your sales staff, your profits are going to get sacked for a big loss."

Pitts, 40, who gained 4,764 yards during an eight-year NFL career, urged those in attendance to establish a well-balanced marketing attack.

"You could have the best product in the world," Pitts said, "but unless you have the reliable distribution channels to get it to the customer, you'll find yourself fumbling every time you touch the ball."

Seminar attendee Bill Gornowicz, 44, who recently quit his job as an associate service coordinator to launch a mail-order office-supply business, said he was impressed with Pitts' seminar.

"I'm really glad I came," Gornowicz said. "Ron showed me that in the unpredictable world of direct-mail merchandising, I always need to have a back-up plan in case of broken plays. That means if my database goes down, I have a hard copy so I still know what inventory I have in stock."

"Don't put yourself in a fourth-and-long situation," Pitts warned. "In my day, I was a scorer. But you've got to be a closer."

Pitts' next appearance takes place Friday, when he is slated to present a "Cold-Calling Techniques That Score Big!" seminar at the Radisson Inn Cleveland Airport. The first 100 registrants will receive a free Pitts-autographed football.

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