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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Senate Passes Blame By Vote Of 91-8

WASHINGTON—In a rare display of bipartisanship, senators on both sides of the aisle set aside their differences Tuesday and passed off responsibility for the nation's problems by an overwhelming 91-8 margin. "As senators, it's our duty to get any sort of blame out of Congress and onto the president's desk as quickly as possible," said Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who recalled a similar 2005 decision in which the Senate firmly rejected accountability by a vote of 93-6. "Someone has to accept this blame and do the right thing, and both Democrats and Republicans alike understand the importance of fighting tooth and nail to ensure that it's not us." President Obama is widely expected to veto the blame, sending it back down to the House of Representatives.

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