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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Senate Softball Team Loses Against Local Bar

WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Senate softball team suffered its fourth straight defeat Tuesday, losing 11-4 to the Anchor Inn. "We were actually ahead in the second after [Sen.] Judd [Gregg (R-NH)] hit a two-run double," team captain Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) said. "But then, Anchor Inn scored six in the bottom of the inning, and the rout was on." For next week's game against Pitchers Pub, Ensign said he plans to move error-prone shortstop Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) to right field.

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