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Senator Baucus Shows Rest Of Congress Where He Found The Dead Body

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Senator Baucus Shows Rest Of Congress Where He Found The Dead Body

WASHINGTON—Breaking off in the middle of a speech on financial reform Tuesday, Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT) offered to take any member of the assembled Senate brave enough to follow him down to Breakneck Woods to see the dead body he had found. "I went to collect some rocks by Miller Creek this morning, and I saw something in the tall grass," the wide-eyed senator said as he led several members of Congress over a rickety bridge by the quarry right around sunset. "He was just lying down there. His skin was all blue-looking." Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN) was later seen taking an inconsolable Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY) over to a nearby tree to calm him down just before the group ran off to hide in an old drainage pipe after seeing oncoming headlights.

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