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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Senator Brings Obscene Material To National Attention

WASHINGTON, DC—Citing "the need to shield decent Americans from depraved filth such as this," U.S. Sen. Bob Smith (R-NH) brought the website "Cum-Craving Sluttz" to national attention Monday. "This cyber-sewage features naked, hot-oiled young women engaging in such acts as fellatio, cunnilingus, rimming, fisting, and frottage," Smith said of the previously obscure site. "I pray for the day when wholesome, impressionable youths do not know that such vile smut exists, let alone are able to access it at http://www.vicecapades.com on their families' home computers during an unsupervised moment."

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