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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Senile Senator Allowed To Believe He Solved Immigration Crisis

WASHINGTON—According to colleagues, 87-year-old senile Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) has been allowed to believe he permanently solved the nation’s immigration crisis in 2007. “What’s the harm?” Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO) told reporters Tuesday. “He comes up and says, ‘It takes a lot to strike a bipartisan compromise on an issue as contentious as immigration, but I did it,’ and I just say, ‘You sure did, big guy!’ It makes him feel good.” Critics have argued that this is just another example of partisan favoritism, and that former Sen. Mark Hatfield (R-OR) should be allowed to think he is still a voting member of the Senate, or at least have access to the cafeteria.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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