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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Senior Center Restocks On Rum Raisin Ice Cream

PRESCOTT, AZ—Residents of the Prescott Senior Center were pleased on Tuesday to learn that a new order of rum raisin ice cream had finally arrived. The ice cream, purchased from a nearby supermarket, had been out of stock for two weeks. "It was time to get more rum raisin ice cream," activities director Rich Diaz said. "Friday's coming up, and that's rum raisin ice cream night." Diaz said the center had experimented with other flavors, but pineapple coconut was deemed too sweet by most of the seniors, and the multiple flavors of Neapolitan just confused them.

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