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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Sentimental Pitchers And Catchers Fulfill Promise Of Meeting In Exact Same Spot One Year Later

SARASOTA, FL—Fulfilling a promise they made one year ago, nostalgic MLB pitchers and catchers reported to the exact same spot Thursday to recount memories of what many of them called "the best spring training ever." "Oh my God, you guys, I can't believe we're here. Let's see if that Gatorade bottle with the notes we wrote to each other is still buried under the pitcher's mound," said the visibly giddy Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina, adding that everyone at camp looked older, but "in, like, a good way." "Would you look at us? We're all so different. Zack [Greinke] is an award winner now, and Roy [Halladay] is a Phillie. Wow. Let's promise to make this spring training even better than last year's spring training." Despite all the emotional and professional changes many of the players had gone through in the past year, all agreed they were there to do one thing, which was pitching and catching.

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