Seventh-Graders Still Undecided On Disparaging Name For Mr. Hyslop

Top Headlines

Recent News

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Sleep

Seventh-Graders Still Undecided On Disparaging Name For Mr. Hyslop

ROME, GA–After several weeks of deliberation, a high-ranking coalition of Rome Middle School seventh-graders remains undecided on what derisive nickname should be assigned to earth-science teacher Mr. Hyslop. "We are giving serious consideration to 'Mr. Hy-snot,'" coalition spokesperson Michael Kraft, 13, told reporters Tuesday, "but the name has yet to win the support of the majority." Other names being considered include "Mr. Hog-slop," "Mr. Zit-pop" and "Mr. Ass-plop."