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Several NFL Teams Express Interest In Your Sister

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Several NFL Teams Express Interest In Your Sister

NEW YORK—­Saying that there are plenty of franchises that would “love to have her,” league sources reported Wednesday that multiple NFL teams have expressed high levels of interest in your sister. “We’ve had our eye on her for a while, and we’re confident she has a whole lot to offer this organization,” said Colts GM Ryan Grigson, echoing the sentiment of 12 interested parties who “like what [they’ve] seen so far” from the coveted 18-year-old. “She’s got just the kind of build we’re looking for. What is she, by the way? A college freshman? Wow, she’s really matured over the past few years. She certainly has our attention.” Sources also noted that many of the involved teams were willing to offer your sister “significant compensation” in return for her services.

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