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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Sex Scandal Sinks Klemke Reelection Bid

WICHITA, KS—Wichita 4th District alderperson Alan Klemke, who rode into office four years ago in one of the most stunning political upsets in U.S. history, saw his hopes for a second term dashed Tuesday in the wake of reports he engaged in an extramarital affair with his secretary, Eileen Lundstrom, 48.

Given his widespread support among the American people, Klemke’s reelection had seemed all but assured until The Wichita Eagle broke the sex scandal in a page-two exclusive, suggesting an illicit relationship had begun as far back as the Orchard Breeze neighborhood hazardous waste collection event in May.

“Alan is proud to have served all the great people of Wichita residing in the area bound by South McLean Boulevard and the Wichita Mid-Continent Airport,” Klemke campaign manager and local pool supply store owner Bill Bohlen told reporters. “He considers it an honor to have represented this great district and leaves behind a record of tireless advocacy for new snow-clearing regulations, as well as for securing funds to repaint graffiti-defaced water towers.”

“While he has no comment upon the allegations made in the press, he hopes his retirement from public service will give his wife, his family, and all Wichitanians time to heal,” Bohlen added.

Exit polls indicated the scandal was the primary reason for the defeat of Klemke by Carl Ferguson, whose return to the 4th District alderpersonship may lead to the reversal of sidewalk extension policies and a rolling back of summer hours at the Wichita Public Library’s Lionel D. Alford Branch.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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