adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
End Of Section
  • More News

Shane Victorino Really Thought Phillies Could Avoid 10,000th Loss

PHILADELPHIA—Following the Phillies' 45th loss of the season—the historic and much-discussed 10,000th in franchise history—Philadelphia right-fielder Shane Victorino expressed surprise and disappointment, saying that he felt the milestone of failure could have been avoided if his team had "just played a little better." "After how much we've practiced and all the recent talk about the importance of winning, I really didn't anticipate another loss for this ballclub," Victorino told a group of reporters in the Phillies locker room. "Ever. Take the talent we have coming up through the farm system, mix in a few smart trades, and above all play smarter, and we never would have had to know what 10,000 losses feels like." Victorino went on to explain how, with increasing international tensions and the ever-present possibility of global thermonuclear war, the Phillies may still be able to avoid their 11,000th loss.

More from this section

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close