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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Shaq Prepares For New TNT Job By Doing Research On Talking

ORLANDO, FL—In an effort to prepare for his new analyst job on TNT’s Inside The NBA, 15-time All-Star center Shaquille O’Neal has reportedly spent the past two weeks gathering “crucial data” by studying reference books, conducting online searches, and using observational methods to learn more about talking. “Through my in-depth investigation of this fascinating subject, I have discovered that talking will be key to verbally expressing my thoughts, ideas, and opinions about the sport of basketball,” said O’Neal, scribbling in a small notebook filled with elaborate diagrams and mathematical equations. “Although I’ve revised some of my earlier theories on talking, I now believe that thoughts are first formed in the brain and then travel to the tongue, which is used to make the mouth speak words that are strung together in order to create specific comments such as ‘That guy can jump,’ and ‘Steve Nash.’” O’Neal added that he is also spending six hours each day learning how to sit in a chair without falling over.

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