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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Shaq Prepares For New TNT Job By Doing Research On Talking

ORLANDO, FL—In an effort to prepare for his new analyst job on TNT’s Inside The NBA, 15-time All-Star center Shaquille O’Neal has reportedly spent the past two weeks gathering “crucial data” by studying reference books, conducting online searches, and using observational methods to learn more about talking. “Through my in-depth investigation of this fascinating subject, I have discovered that talking will be key to verbally expressing my thoughts, ideas, and opinions about the sport of basketball,” said O’Neal, scribbling in a small notebook filled with elaborate diagrams and mathematical equations. “Although I’ve revised some of my earlier theories on talking, I now believe that thoughts are first formed in the brain and then travel to the tongue, which is used to make the mouth speak words that are strung together in order to create specific comments such as ‘That guy can jump,’ and ‘Steve Nash.’” O’Neal added that he is also spending six hours each day learning how to sit in a chair without falling over.

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