Shaq To Guest Referee Game 1 Of Eastern Conference Championship

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Vol 45 Issue 17

Three Fingered On Class Trip To Washington, D.C.

WASHINGTON—The second fingering reportedly took place Thursday night at the hotel after chaperones failed to notice that Nick Stern had been hiding in Jamie Cavanaugh's bathroom during a 10 p.m. room check.
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Shaq To Guest Referee Game 1 Of Eastern Conference Championship

ORLANDO—NBA commissioner David Stern interrupted the halftime ceremony of the Sixers-Magic game Wednesday to announce that Shaquille O'Neal would be returning to the court this postseason, not as a player, but as a guest referee in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Championship. "It's time I brought the law enforcement back into the NBA," Stern said as he introduced the unsmiling O'Neal, who glowered at the crowd while wearing a black-and-white-striped referee shirt with the sleeves cut off. "He won't let any of you get away with the crap you're pulling with the current refs. Shaq Attack is back—and in full effect." In addition to O'Neal, Stern has appointed Vince Carter to serve as "The Enforcer," whose job is to check tickets and sell concessions at all games.

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