Shared Memory Of Children's Television Show Leads To Sex

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Vol 45 Issue 49

Labor Dept: Available Labor Rate Increases To 10.2%

WASHINGTON—"This is such an exciting time to be an employer in America," said Labor Secretary Hilda Solis, adding that every single day 6,500 more citizens join America's growing possible workforce. "There's such a massive and diverse pool of job-ready Americans to choose from. And each month the number only gets higher."

36-10 Game Analyzed

BRISTOL, CT—Despite the clear dominance the Vikings displayed in their definitive 36-10 week 12 victory over the Bears, ESPN analysts compared the teams' offensive and defensive performances, and scrutinized slow-motion highlights of the game for nearly five minutes during Monday's broadcast of NFL Live.

Vince Young

After a difficult start to his NFL career, Vince Young has led the Titans to six consecutive wins. Is he any good?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Shared Memory Of Children's Television Show Leads To Sex

PHILADELPHIA—A shared memory of the Nickelodeon series You Can't Do That On Television resulted in the act of sexual intercourse between two 26-year-olds Friday, sources reported. "Somehow the show came up, and she remembered how the trigger for getting slimed was saying 'I don't know,'" said paralegal Mike Siddeitch, whose faint recollection of a sketch involving a South American military officer, a firing squad, and a child tied to a post was warmly received by medical student Emily Bryant and was directly responsible for the three hours of casual lovemaking that occurred later that evening. "It's so weird how stuff like that from your childhood sticks in your memory." Shortly after waking up the next morning, the pair simultaneously named the show's disheveled hamburger chef—Barth Bagge—setting off another round of manic copulation.

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