Sharon's Neurotransmitters Reach Cease-Fire Agreement

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Vol 42 Issue 04

Hamas Victorious

Following Sharon's replacement and the recent political victory for Hamas, the future of the Middle East looks more uncertain than ever. What do you think?

West Wing Canceled

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Yao Ming Living Up To Height Expectations

HOUSTON—Despite initial skepticism among NBA fans and analysts, Rockets center Yao Ming has had no trouble living up to the expectations of coaches and players that he would be 7'5" tall.
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Sharon's Neurotransmitters Reach Cease-Fire Agreement

JERUSALEM—After more than 77 years under constant fire, the neurotransmitters of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's brain could be nearing a truce. "These endless, often senseless patterns of never-ending discharge must come to an end," a spokesman for Sharon's neurostructure told reporters. "Activity has already slowed considerably since the violent blood-clot explosion in his brain earlier this month. We expect a total cessation of cranial nerve firings within two weeks." Observers are unsure whether the cease-fire will bring peace to Sharon's war-torn cranial region, but they remain guardedly optimistic.
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