BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.
JERUSALEMAfter more than 77 years under constant fire, the neurotransmitters of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's brain could be nearing a truce. "These endless, often senseless patterns of never-ending discharge must come to an end," a spokesman for Sharon's neurostructure told reporters. "Activity has already slowed considerably since the violent blood-clot explosion in his brain earlier this month. We expect a total cessation of cranial nerve firings within two weeks." Observers are unsure whether the cease-fire will bring peace to Sharon's war-torn cranial region, but they remain guardedly optimistic.