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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Sheepish Timberwolves Fire Placekicker

MINNEAPOLIS—The Minnesota Timberwolves gave fresh ammunition to critics of their recent personnel moves Monday night when they made announced that placekicker Dave Rayner, claimed off waivers on Nov. 30 after being cut from the Kansas City Chiefs, had been cut from the roster. "We appreciate the contribution Dave made to the team in his time here, but he did not fill our need for an actual basketball player," coach Randy Wittman said of Rayner, who scored fewer than four points per game for Minnesota, far below the NBA and his NFL averages. "I hope Dave finds challenges worthy of his talents." Wittman then introduced controversial new Timberwolf signing jockey Willie Shoemaker III, admitting that while the project player has less than ideal size, his pedigree was too good to pass up.

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