adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Shepard's Pie: Christmas Eve Carp

Joyeux Noel everyone! Almost Christmastime and as you know, got a lot of traditions going on at once: the wife and I are exchanging new pairs of pajamas on Christmas Eve so we can wake up Christmas morn decked out in fresh flannels; gonna dress as Sinterklaas, the Belgian version of Santa and spit about an hour of Christmas history at my nieces and nephews; and of course, see a movie alone to commemorate some of my college Christmases.

My favorite trad though? Grab a Christmas fact off of Wikipedia and do it UP. This year, Christmas Eve Carp.

Apparently in Poland, Slovakia and some of "those" countries, they are way into carp on Christmas. Breaded carp, pickled carp, candied carp, carp carp carp carp carp. Can't say I'm WAY enthused. Nothing against carp, just doesn't seem like a fun thing. I actually closed my eyes and pointed to the wiki page four times and each time I managed to point to carp. Wish I was joking, not clever enough to think of something like that.

Got me thinking though: who in sports is most like Christmas Eve Carp? You know, where you're expecting something great because it's Christmas Eve, but then you get carp? I'm gonna give you one sentence to think about it, but this is the sentence. OK here it is: 5-Time Sprint Cup Champion Jimmie Johnson.

That's the thing about Jimmie Johnson. Winning five championships is totally Christmas Eve: fun and awesome. But his name, his face and his personality? Carp, carp and carp. Even his number is carp. 48? Only good 48 is "48 Hours" and Nolte had to CARRY that movie from the jaws of death that were early-80's Eddie Murphy.

So what's your Christmas Eve Carp? I really love hearing what you think, through e-mails, direct messages, whatever. Please comment on my blog, I like reading 'em whenever I get a chance throughout the day. So get commenting! Love to read 'em!

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close