adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Shepard's Pie: Christmas Eve Carp

Joyeux Noel everyone! Almost Christmastime and as you know, got a lot of traditions going on at once: the wife and I are exchanging new pairs of pajamas on Christmas Eve so we can wake up Christmas morn decked out in fresh flannels; gonna dress as Sinterklaas, the Belgian version of Santa and spit about an hour of Christmas history at my nieces and nephews; and of course, see a movie alone to commemorate some of my college Christmases.

My favorite trad though? Grab a Christmas fact off of Wikipedia and do it UP. This year, Christmas Eve Carp.

Apparently in Poland, Slovakia and some of "those" countries, they are way into carp on Christmas. Breaded carp, pickled carp, candied carp, carp carp carp carp carp. Can't say I'm WAY enthused. Nothing against carp, just doesn't seem like a fun thing. I actually closed my eyes and pointed to the wiki page four times and each time I managed to point to carp. Wish I was joking, not clever enough to think of something like that.

Got me thinking though: who in sports is most like Christmas Eve Carp? You know, where you're expecting something great because it's Christmas Eve, but then you get carp? I'm gonna give you one sentence to think about it, but this is the sentence. OK here it is: 5-Time Sprint Cup Champion Jimmie Johnson.

That's the thing about Jimmie Johnson. Winning five championships is totally Christmas Eve: fun and awesome. But his name, his face and his personality? Carp, carp and carp. Even his number is carp. 48? Only good 48 is "48 Hours" and Nolte had to CARRY that movie from the jaws of death that were early-80's Eddie Murphy.

So what's your Christmas Eve Carp? I really love hearing what you think, through e-mails, direct messages, whatever. Please comment on my blog, I like reading 'em whenever I get a chance throughout the day. So get commenting! Love to read 'em!

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close