Shepard's Pie: Christmas Eve Carp

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 01

Modern-Day Cowboy Rides 18-Wheeler Full Of Entenmann's Products Westward

SOLOMON, KS—Awakening to the lonely howl of a distant coyote early Tuesday morning, C.J. Hoppel climbs into his 18-wheeler and sets off westward across a barren stretch of unbroken prairie, the whipping wind his only companion as he pulls a rig full of Entenmann's baked goods and snack cakes across the plains.

Robert Gibbs Stepping Down

While House press secretary Robert Gibbs announced he would be leaving his position as White House press secretary to work as a political adviser.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Customer Service

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Shepard's Pie: Christmas Eve Carp

Joyeux Noel everyone! Almost Christmastime and as you know, got a lot of traditions going on at once: the wife and I are exchanging new pairs of pajamas on Christmas Eve so we can wake up Christmas morn decked out in fresh flannels; gonna dress as Sinterklaas, the Belgian version of Santa and spit about an hour of Christmas history at my nieces and nephews; and of course, see a movie alone to commemorate some of my college Christmases.

My favorite trad though? Grab a Christmas fact off of Wikipedia and do it UP. This year, Christmas Eve Carp.

Apparently in Poland, Slovakia and some of "those" countries, they are way into carp on Christmas. Breaded carp, pickled carp, candied carp, carp carp carp carp carp. Can't say I'm WAY enthused. Nothing against carp, just doesn't seem like a fun thing. I actually closed my eyes and pointed to the wiki page four times and each time I managed to point to carp. Wish I was joking, not clever enough to think of something like that.

Got me thinking though: who in sports is most like Christmas Eve Carp? You know, where you're expecting something great because it's Christmas Eve, but then you get carp? I'm gonna give you one sentence to think about it, but this is the sentence. OK here it is: 5-Time Sprint Cup Champion Jimmie Johnson.

That's the thing about Jimmie Johnson. Winning five championships is totally Christmas Eve: fun and awesome. But his name, his face and his personality? Carp, carp and carp. Even his number is carp. 48? Only good 48 is "48 Hours" and Nolte had to CARRY that movie from the jaws of death that were early-80's Eddie Murphy.

So what's your Christmas Eve Carp? I really love hearing what you think, through e-mails, direct messages, whatever. Please comment on my blog, I like reading 'em whenever I get a chance throughout the day. So get commenting! Love to read 'em!

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More