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Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Shepard's Pie: Deadly Chemistry Deadly Deets

There's a lot of buzz building around Deadly Chemistry's next gig after we got a little on-air publicity from yours truly. We were already pretty pumped because the Orbit Room finally gave us a weekend gig after years of rocking Tuesday and Wednesday nights. But we've been polishing the set list pretty much non-stop whenever we aren't at work and the storage facility where we practice isn't too busy, and we are ready to shine on Saturday.

If you're looking for an all-expenses paid (minus two-drink/one-appetizer minimum) ride down the synthpunk expressway, just print off 200 Deadly Chem street team flyers and send us a camera phone pic of you handing them out. We've still got 23 guest list spots left (four a piece, minus one of mine reserved for Wellsy if she decides to make the trip, fingers crossed), so get to it!

Remember the Orbit Room is above the Chinese restaurant on Spielman St., and everyone's got to clear out by midnight because of the new downtown noise regulation ordinance that just got passed, which doesn't give us a ton of time to synth-rock out, but that just means we'll be packing it in for maximum distilled tunes. And from what I hear they got their liquor license back -- although I haven't gotten that confirmed, and if they haven't, then there's an additional $10 charge at the door on top of the $17 cover to make up for what they're missing on booze sales. Buy a CD or a tee and I'll cover it for you!

Deadly Chemistry On Myspace!

Head on over to the Myspace, friend us, join the Deadly Chemistry army! Don’t be turned off by our low friend count. We had to delete our page and set up a new one after some 4channers hacked it for reasons unclear to me and put up a lot of penises.

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