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CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Shepard's Pie: The Dome Is Moving To 8, Which Is A Lucky Number In China

I'm not going to sugarcoat it: moving the SportsDome to eight o'clock is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

As soon as I found out about the move, I was elated. I have a very finicky circadian rhythm, and doing something so late at night, every single night basically gave me a form of sleep-deprivation hallucinations that is very rare in places with a normal daily sunrise-sunset schedule. Basically the only people who suffer from it are scientists stationed in Alaska and Al Pacino's character from Insomnia. Just to give you an example, I once thought my partner, Alex Reiser, was a terrible shrieking whale bent on my destroying my family. I know now that he's not, but that's what the old time slot did to me.

I immediately started researching the number eight just to get acquainted to the new time and compare it to my personal celestial fingerprint. Found out some great things.

- 8 is a lucky number in China! The phone number 888-8888 sold for 270 thousand dollars there. I only paid three thousand for mine, so that is crazy.

- The Ghubar Arabs were the ones who gave the numeral "8" its distinctive look. About time they did something worthwhile.

- Hanukkah lasts 8 days AND 8 nights

- The number 8 is a 'magic' number for Geminis

- I couldn't find any other interesting facts about the number eight but I'm still psyched about it

In any event, I look forward to the challenge of reading sports stories off a teleprompter a full two and a half hours earlier. The one tough thing is going head to head with Glee, which I believe everyone knows by now is my favorite show. To you my loyal readers I promise this: I will retire all of my personalized Glee hashtags that I use on Twitter for as long as we are on opposite the greatest teenage musical comedy show in television history. Farewell #shepardglee, #shepardgleek, #shepardgleegeek, #shepardlea, #shepardleamichelle, #shepardgleamichele, #shepardrachelberry and most painfully, #shepardnumberonegleefanintheworld. We had a good run.

Finally, I implore you all to watch SportsDome at 8pm this Tuesday. The time might be different, but we've got just as much Sports, tons more Dome and an infinite amount of deets.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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