Shepard's Pie: The Seattle Seahawks Have Mothers Too

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Vol 47 Issue 01

Modern-Day Cowboy Rides 18-Wheeler Full Of Entenmann's Products Westward

SOLOMON, KS—Awakening to the lonely howl of a distant coyote early Tuesday morning, C.J. Hoppel climbs into his 18-wheeler and sets off westward across a barren stretch of unbroken prairie, the whipping wind his only companion as he pulls a rig full of Entenmann's baked goods and snack cakes across the plains.

Robert Gibbs Stepping Down

While House press secretary Robert Gibbs announced he would be leaving his position as White House press secretary to work as a political adviser.
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Shepard's Pie: The Seattle Seahawks Have Mothers Too

First of all: How dare all of us.

It's very easy to pass judgement from our ivory pulpits with our platinum gavels. We see a team finish 7-9 and we immediately think that they are somehow undeserving of entry into a tournament meant to find the very best team in football. We shout and we moan and we complain and we scratch our fat bellies and fart. Well not to throw you under the bus, but I do NOT think that way. And I think it's a travesty that some people do.

When the Seahawks entered the season, they did so with the understanding that whomever finished with the best record in NFC West would be allowed into the playoffs regardless of the quality of their club. If they actually had to be good, don't you think they would have gotten some better players, or tried harder? No, you didn't think.

We feel that if we were 6'4" 280 lb Monster-Men, we would finish with a winning record or at least 8-8. We like to think we would decline an invite to the NFL playoff tournament if we finished with a 7-9 record, two more losses than wins. Well I have news for you: the Seahawks are being PAID to play those playoff games. It's their JOB. They HAVE to embarrass themselves in front of the country and get demolished by the Saints. Do you think they like it? Of course they don't.

Think of this the next time you decide to bash the Blue and Bluish-Green: every single one of those Seahawks has a mother. Even if some of those mothers have died (I wasn't able to find information on each player's mother, but the odds are some of them are dead), these Seahawks still hurt and feel and cry and cry some more.

Remember this the next time you're crying and shriveled up in a corner, because I know I will: deep down, inside, when we are at our most weak and pathetic, we are ALL Seattle Seahawks.

Keep the faith, Seahawks. If I could name any of you, you know I'd be sending you a shout out right now.

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