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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Shepard's Pie: The Seattle Seahawks Have Mothers Too

First of all: How dare all of us.

It's very easy to pass judgement from our ivory pulpits with our platinum gavels. We see a team finish 7-9 and we immediately think that they are somehow undeserving of entry into a tournament meant to find the very best team in football. We shout and we moan and we complain and we scratch our fat bellies and fart. Well not to throw you under the bus, but I do NOT think that way. And I think it's a travesty that some people do.

When the Seahawks entered the season, they did so with the understanding that whomever finished with the best record in NFC West would be allowed into the playoffs regardless of the quality of their club. If they actually had to be good, don't you think they would have gotten some better players, or tried harder? No, you didn't think.

We feel that if we were 6'4" 280 lb Monster-Men, we would finish with a winning record or at least 8-8. We like to think we would decline an invite to the NFL playoff tournament if we finished with a 7-9 record, two more losses than wins. Well I have news for you: the Seahawks are being PAID to play those playoff games. It's their JOB. They HAVE to embarrass themselves in front of the country and get demolished by the Saints. Do you think they like it? Of course they don't.

Think of this the next time you decide to bash the Blue and Bluish-Green: every single one of those Seahawks has a mother. Even if some of those mothers have died (I wasn't able to find information on each player's mother, but the odds are some of them are dead), these Seahawks still hurt and feel and cry and cry some more.

Remember this the next time you're crying and shriveled up in a corner, because I know I will: deep down, inside, when we are at our most weak and pathetic, we are ALL Seattle Seahawks.

Keep the faith, Seahawks. If I could name any of you, you know I'd be sending you a shout out right now.

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