Shia LaBeouf Shimmies Out Of Third-Floor Window At School For Wayward Boys

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Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
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Shia LaBeouf Shimmies Out Of Third-Floor Window At School For Wayward Boys

CRANSTON, RI—Capping off a month of unruly behavior that included defacement of school property, possession of forbidden items, and persistent backtalk and rebelliousness, sources say actor Shia LaBeouf attempted to escape from a dormitory window of the Homewood Training School for Wayward Boys last night, marking his third such attempt during the summer quarter. “I’m making my way out of this hole—good luck, kid,” the 27-year-old Transformers star reportedly said to his bunkmate before packing his cot with pillows and lowering himself from the building’s third-story window, aided by an improvised ladder of knotted bed sheets. “Look me up when you’re out. And make a break for it soon, if you got half a brain.” After being promptly apprehended when a night guard caught LaBeouf scaling the facility’s front gate, Homewood officials reportedly debated what to do with the smirking young man, whose only was response was, “Call my dad, see if he cares."

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