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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Shortstop Tony Peña Jr. Upset He Doesn't Have A Base

KANSAS CITY—Royals shortstop Tony Peña Jr. expressed his long-held grievances Wednesday concerning the unfairness and injustice involved in not having a base of his own to cover. "It's not fair. Why does every infielder get a base but me?" said Peña, who has received two warnings from umpires in recent games to stop bringing out his own base to shortstop. "[First baseman Mark] Teahen gets to stand right on his very own base all day. And [catcher John] Buck gets to wear all that cool equipment and hang out by the most important base of them all. I'm stuck in no man's land, just throwing the ball to everyone else. This sucks." Second baseman Mark Grudzielanek later met with Peña to discuss a compromise in which both players would stand approximately the same distance from second.

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