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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Should Philadelphia spend public funds to build a 35-foot-high "Giant Bronze Handjob"?

To celebrate the invention of the handjob, the Philadelphia city council has proposed the construction of a 35-foot-high statue showing the act. Is this a good use of public funds?

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